haha, i've never celebrated 4th july before.
well of course seeing as it's not really an english thing haha ´ v`;

a-anyway. happy belated birthday alfred !!
it's definitely my love of you that made me celebrate this day. |D
but it was a good excuse to have funnnn


so. saturday july 4th 2009 xD

wore my america pants (because you all wanted to know this)
pb&j sandwich (and cereal and fruit uhh)
heard some noise, looked out my window, saw my old school having their summer fete aha. me and rachel went; it turned out to be pretty bad haha. but i got a burger yeahhh (this was me preparing to eat as many 'american-associated' things as i could)

andddd katy had a july 4 party > ワ<
we didn't really do anything properly celebratory..but we went swimming in the sea, did cheerleading lol and ate a lot (not good for my poor inflated stomach)
brownies and (more) burgers and apple pie and peanut butter cups errrr this sounds so unhealthy but i am listing the unhealthy stuff right |D


and. that night i thought of something
and this night, i realised something to do with that thought.
haha.... i guess maybe some kind of picture might come up
h-hey. i'm really sorry, okay? ´ u`;;


current obsessions/ i need some (other than america) been slacking too much ahhh T 0T

012 THINGS I WISH I COULD SAY TO TEN DIFFERENT PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.


001 i wish you talked to me more about yourself, and your feelings and worries.
002 i’m really sorry i didn’t seem so sad at you leaving. i will miss you a lot.
003 thanks so much for always looking out for me. you are a really good person.
004 i wish you’d left me a note or something.
005 i so badly want to meet you, and get a hug from you, but it’s not possible.
006 did you mean to lie to me? i’m not sure if i care that much anymore, though.
007 you are such a jerk, and as much fun as it was, part of me wishes you hadn’t messed around with me. i still love you though.
008 wish we could have gotten to know each other better…ah, there’s still time
009 i wish we had gone out together somewhere, sometime, for any reason.
010 i don’t actually like you that much at all… i secretly hope you don’t ‘join’ us
011 i realise now that you were right when looking out for my best interests
012 please, please don’t be a creeper again next year


009 THINGS ABOUT MYSELF.


001 i cry a lot more recently. mainly at emotional us/uk videos though lol
002 i never swear. i use words like damn a lot, though
003 love the ideas of horror things, but i’m too scared to watch/read them
004 these things take me a damn long time to write
005 i think i want to live somewhere other than england when i’m older.
006 i hate words that only uni students seem to use, like ‘banter’ and ‘lash’ etc
007 sometimes i wish i could look cool and intimidating lol
008 i am way more vain than i (or atleast i think i) let on
009 especially with my parents, i find saying goodbye incredibly important every time


008 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART.


001 be able to mess around and have fun
002 be american (or america) hahaha
003 don’t have a life centred around going out and drinking
004 be intelligent (..but not creepily)
005 look after me
006 not holding grudges for tiny things and amplifying them
007 look nice. aha
008 be kind. duh


007 THINGS THAT CROSS MY MIND A LOT.


001 america (lol)
002 when I am next getting food
003 how much I’ve already eaten or am going to eat
004 something more constructive that I could be doing
005 random imagined situations
006 us/uk haha
007 things i’d like to buy orz


006 I DO BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP.


001 brush my teeth
002 wash
003 get changed
004 ..get into bed?
005 go on the computer
006 daydream (nightdream?)


005 PEOPLE WHO MEAN A LOT.


001 my close family
002 home friends
003 uni friends
004 online friends
005 randoms who are nice to me (ha i didn’t name anyone)


004 THINGS I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW.


001 underwear
002 uhhh
003 kind of half (sitting on it?) a dressing gown
004 it’s hot okay


003 SONGS I LISTEN TO OFTEN.


001 romeo & cinderella- hatsune miku
002 i like the way- darren hayes
003 lonely in gorgeous- tommy february6


002 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE.


001 go to america
002 have a nice home and family and stuff haha


001 CONFESSION.


001 i don’t have any confessions that are interesting or that i want to reveal to multiple people. haha. sorry orz… ask about it and i’ll probably tell you





urgh this thing took ages to format
also what's up with the first question,should be just 10 things to fit in...ah well....

oh i never made a 'coming back/finishing exams'entry righttt

well it's gonna be short,
i'm back
my exams went sooo badly.
really. i'll probably have to retake atleast one.

ahhh sigh.
i don't really want to think about it.
so i'm doing a meme right now to post on top of this soon, ha
i just thought, for some reason, that i needed to mention that i was back home and done with exams. weird aha |D (ahhh this time last week i would be just coming out of my last exam)


well, errr, yes.

ohdamn i don't know if this 1hour timer is working 'cause it might shut me off any minute orz

anywayyy

just spent like 4hours chatting with dave (it's now 4:12am)
was in the library and went back at like 12 but didn't feel like going back to my room so yeahh.


we ended up play-fighting and talking about murdering/being murdered etc for hoursss yo haha
and then we got on to the topic of sam and stuff and yeah.

talking to katy over last few days,and earlier on i was talking to emily and dascha about this and they said i should tell him and stufff but it will be so awkward right.. but i think i should get it off my chest or i'm gonna end up liking him for like foreverrrr orz

and then dave says he thinks sam might be gay so yeah.
my chance =0.000001% orz
damnnn why did i have to like sam cries
i wanna tell him. so then i can stop thinking about this hopefully. i hope we could be friends though after..if he didn't like me back.hope so much T ___T
wake up stupid me :C
i need to be studying right.


oh and dave. is seriously awesome
so fun talking for hours,and fighting and stuff and then he was really kind about sam even though he said what he really thought without trying to cover up stuff for me. and he was like 'i'm sorry.. i don't know what else to say' or something but even so,with so little hope for me, it was still kind of relieving to talk about it. like weight got lifted off my chest you know ??
and he gave me loads of hugs and i leant on him for ages and he stroked my hair in comforting way and stuff,and then he was going to sleep so i was half lying on his bed with him hugging me (haha this sounds kinda bad but it was very sweet and innocent right C; )you knoww i really like and miss that kind of thing.....
seriously. i want david as my big brother.
but he is going to leave in two weeks T __T and i might never see him again na

(oh yeah.did i mention.he is AMERICAN (capitals needed)which makes him even more awesome ahaha)
and i need to be studying so i can't spend loads of time with the americans before i go ..

ARFHHHHH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCEPT I NEED TO GO TO BED


sometimes i feel like giving up on sam ...
but then i see him again and afgjdhkhga i still like you


i think this should belong in a personal journal or sometime orz
but i'm too tired
i don't think anyone would have read this anyway fffff

uh what my 1hour should be up orz i was on for ages earlier
maybe it's one hour at a time that sucks

ohhhhh i totally forgot to say,hiiiii to all new friendssss from usxuk comm yeah :D
do people actually read this journal??blahhhh

so. aha.

i set up 'parental control' on my computer
1hour of computer a day.uhhhhhhhh |D
so you will probably see me around a lot less aha.

i really need to studyyyy sobs
realised last night (while watching a movie with friends uhh) that i have so little tiiimmeeee :C

still try spend time with friends and stuff.
just less computer.uhhh
sobs

can't wait for the holidays orz
if i actually pass my exams.sob

ps.am actually starting to feel sick from too many sweet things (it's literally like 70% of my diet orz)
so i'm gonna try be healthier right
let's see how long this lasts (prediction: not long)
i had an icecream for lunch though so i guess that's a bad start.uhhh